Gay, Single, and Looking for Love.

As Valentine's Day awaits us next Monday, I wonder if I will ever meet that special guy two days before or on V-day. Coming up with cheesy scenarios in my head (such as running into a guy with hot coffee and helping him clean up), I try coming up with reasons why I haven't found that special person. Am I not in the right place (I live in a small town in AK)? Have I not tried hard enough? Or am I just not attractive? Desperate perhaps?

I was just recently out of town for 10 months doing service work, on my free time I went on a date and went to gay bars, but all I got was a awkward date (meaning I was more the talker while he was more quiet - but great kisser), snobby gay guys and a couple of cool gay friends. I asked advice and lots of questions from my new friends such as on relationships, sex, etc. They were informative and helpful but I really longed for that romantic connection.

I pretty much don't know what to do to be honest. I've been very patient but at the same time I feel like I'm going to flip out and make an emotional scene in public - hope that never happens! I remember at 16 years old I fell really hard for a guy (mind you he's straight) and knew I was at that point I am hopeless romantic-although at times I'm a cynic realist at times. Being a listener and observer, my friends have taught me a lot and I certainly have grasped their hardships to get a better understanding about romantic relationships. I try not to do the whole online thing since it seems weird and more the in-person type.

Now at 22 years old, I ask "Where are you?" I guess I need to put myself out there more but being in a small town being openly gay seems to be a rarity as most gay guys here are probably in the closet and ask to keep it discreet or ones who just want to hook up. I say "FUCK THAT!" I want a guy who is open and not always looking into sex.

I didn't mean to put this as a self-pity talk but this was only way to purge what I had to say on my mind and man it felt great! Happy Early Valentines Everyone!